watch

Tomorrow I’ll Wake Up and Scald Myself with Tea, (Jindrich Polak) Petr Kostka, Vladimir Mensik, Jiri Sovak. 1977

Undeniably charming sci-fi oddity tackling the vagaries of time travel head-on some eight years before ‘Back to the Future’ perfected the genre. Whether or not Robert Zemeckis and co. were devotees of mid 70’s Czech farce is unclear but Polak’s zany film is bursting with the kind of ideas that feel influential. The plot is simple enough. Just your average fable about survivor Nazis in the 90’s who have stayed youthful thanks to anti-aging pills and are hatching a plot to board a commercial time travel flight back to Germany 1944 to give Hitler and pals a hydrogen bomb to defeat the Allied Forces and thus change the course of history. The plot progresses logically when the charlatan pilot they have hired to help them chokes to death on a pork roll on the morning of the flight, thus leaving his identical twin brother to unwittingly step in and fill his shoes. The playful script churns out throwaway surprises up until the final reel whilst the accompanying score consistently reminds us that we shouldn’t take any of this at all seriously. Great fun. 4/5

stream@: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVBPNfKfgNo

The Devil’s Mistress, (Filip Renc) Tatiana Pauhofova, Karl Markovics, Simona Stasova. 2016

Nothing says dodgy quite like a period drama set in Nazi era Berlin filmed in a language that isn’t German. Whether for budgetary reasons or just plain old lack of imagination, director Renc’s decision to have Hitler and Goebbels trade pleasantries in Czech cripples completely his already shambolic movie. Potentially interesting subject matter is given the Netflix el cheapo treatment as the story of Lída Baarová, budding Czech starlet in pre WW2 Germany unfolds apace. Based on true events, Baarova’s promising film career was compromised somewhat by her decision to shack up with one of history’s greatest douchebags. The actress’s tumultuous relationship with Joseph Goebbels and what it cost her and her family post-war are the focus here and for sure it’s an interesting story. Unfortunately the movie is let down by a hackneyed script, lacklustre direction and lead performances that would be less ham-fisted had the performers delivered their lines whilst brandishing a prize sow. Avoid like you might a Neo-Nazi rally. 1/5

stream@: https://www.netflix.com/title/80157564

Milada, (David Mrnka) Ayelet Zurer, Robert Gant, Vica Kerekes. 2017.

Pretty unremarkable telling of the life of a remarkable woman. Milada Horakova was a social justice campaigner and politician before her execution by the communist government in 1950. There is a great movie to be made about her lifetime of struggle, achievement and injustice but Milada unfortunately isn’t it. Presumably with an eye on a wider international audience Mrnka’s movie is filmed in English. The result is actors delivering stilted unconvincing line readings in a language that clearly isn’t their native tongue. It’s a baffling decision because one would imagine that anyone wiling to watch a two hour Czech film about a politician from the 1940’s is probably ok with subtitles as well.

In any case, the movie in staying faithful to its subject matter, feels its length and struggles to hold the viewer’s attention. An earnest effort that doesn’t mange to do justice to its subject. 2/5.

stream@: https://www.netflix.com/search?q=milada

read

The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera, 1984

Kundera’s much admired deep dive into the pursuit of self-actualization hasn’t aged so much as it’s matured, unintentionally displaying a withering disdain for the empty headed indoctrination of social media zeitgeist some three and a half decades later. The acclaimed novelist could’ve had little if any idea of how theorizing on the state of human existence might morph into vacuous opportunistic self promotion circa 2019, but a penny for his thoughts as thoroughly unqualified self-help gurus peddle buzz-phrase dreck from the latest platform of choice.

The Moravian exile is at his most erudite here, his tale primarily covering the midlife of Tomas and Tereza, a strangely devoted couple grappling with fidelity, jealousy and the elusive nature of happiness in communist Czechoslovakia. Tomas, skilled surgeon and devoted Lothario has spent much of his adult life avoiding responsibility yet is still in his own way a man of deep principle. His long suffering wife can see neither a forseeable future elsewhere nor a life of happy submission with Tomas and thus stays rooted in purgatory. Kundera’s refusal to allow Tereza any of the sort of sexual empowerment enjoyed by Tomas throughout gives some credence to the accusations of misogyny often directed at the author.

Throughout his meandering opus we are introduced to additional players in the big game, some historical, some constructs. Franz, the atypical stiff-necked Central European lives a life of calculated caution. Perhaps his grimly funny demise during an ill conceived trip to Vietnam is a bitterly ironic call to arms, a somewhat more articulate version of YOLO? Elsewhere an all to brief segue into the final days of Stalin’s son hilariously encapsulates Kundera’s thesis with the tale of an unrestrained egotist brought back down to earth in a detention camp and finding the day to day mundanity of serfdom to be a fate worse than death. Modern day instagramers might well sum this up as The Unbearable Shiteness of FOMO. But there is a reason why the likes of Kundera will still be discussed in fifty years whereas your average buzz-feed hucksters come and go with the weather. Throwing a hashtag in front of something doesn’t make it wisdom.

listen

Karel Gott, 1965-2019

If releasing nearly three hundred albums and being voted his country’s most popular singer forty two times in an annual poll didn’t make Gott a shoe-in for this month’s entry, then his death on the second of October at age 80 nails him on completely. The Golden voice of Prague, The Sinatra of the East, government stooge, call him what you want but there is no denying the man led a life of incredible achievement.

Whilst lacking some of the nuance and ambiguity of Sinatra, comparisons with ‘Ol Blue Eyes stretch further than a mutual stint in Vegas. Gott’s incredible vocal range and prolific output leave little room for argument over his huge relevance. Moreover an ability to perform in five different languages set him apart from, well, just about everyone. Check his covers of Herman’s Hermits hit ‘There’s a kind of hush’ and Pat Boone middler ‘I’ll be home‘ for a taste of his enchanting if overtly whimsical vocal styling. On the 12th of October Karel Gott’s memory was honoured with a state funeral.

Gott’s albums are available for download on Spotify.

eat and drink

Tommy’s beer cafe, 123 Glebe Point Rd, Glebe.

This will perhaps not be T.E.T’s most objective review. That’s because amongst the Eastern European expats, curious day-trippers and local ne’er-do-wells you might find your humble scribe tipping a couple back at Tommy’s on his afternoon off. Glass panelled front door acting as a portal to any-bar Czech Republic, here is a themed dining and drinking experience as genuine as you are likely to find in Sydney.

Get in before 5pm for a couple of happy hour pints of exceptional Czech beer. If you happen to stop by when the boss man himself is working he will likely regale you with a tale or two of the old days back home. Stick around for an unfussily prepared and presented but definitely satisfying meal. Standouts include the Slovak Halusky (think gnocchi with a cheese sauce and bacon), smokehouse platter and Friday pork knuckle. Have a crack at traditional Svieckova if you’ve always wondered what tender beef would taste like if covered in veggie sauce and cranberries! Pull up a chair at the bar for a final beer, you might just make a couple of new friends. It’s that kind of place.

goal of the month

Nice build up and finish and a goal on international debut for Zdenek Ondrasek. Added bonus of course of the three lions beaten.